Damn myself for emo blogging!

It’s a little after five in the morning and here I am wide awake, my stomach still turning from Friday night. Damn you tequilia, why must you be so cruel to me? I have a couple of hours that I have no recollection of and Lindsey Galow apparently came over to my house. I do not remember. Every time I find myself waking up in the early morning hours it usually turns out to be for some reason that either involves illness, future, friends, or family. This morning, it happens to be one, two, and three.

The illness happens to be my stomach cursing me for Friday night, and also probably Saturday night. Saturday was only one beer though! And it was with Megan Griggs! There are just some things you can’t say no too! Megan Griggs+$2.50 domestic drafts in a big glass at Goodies=intense happiness and warm fuzzy feelings, and an already hungover Luis feeling like shit for about two days. There was also a huge glass of water involved with the beer, but that doesn’t seem to matter. It was totally worth it though.

The future, as always, seems to involve that necessary evil of money and that awesome little monster, music major doubt, seems to have found its way into my bed tonight. He is a very interesting creature that appears whenever he pleases and leaves me feeling vulnerable and insecure about myself as a musician. I had been feeling his presence for the last couple of days and had hoped that the amount of confidence I received in my lesson Friday morning would deter him away, but no, he has come once again. This time he has come to talk about March 15^th, my first performance of the semester in studio class. He whisper softly in my ear with a slight evil giggle, “You know music is a collaborative effort. It takes yourself, your voice teacher, and your accompanist all working together at their highest level of efficiency in order for you to succeed. And it seems this time all your hard work and preparation isn’t going to pay off because 1/3 of the musical trio is failing.”

This morning the friend that crosses my mind is Sammy. My martini. My best friend from grade school. My 100% Mexican friend who is slightly self hating because she is Mexican. It has been so long since I have seen her, and the very thought that it may be a little bit longer until I can see her again actually brings tears. Yes, I am crying a little as I write this because I miss her, I’m tired, and I can’t believe I still like this whole blogging thing. Don’t judge.

It is now six in the morning. It has taken my hour to write this short entry. Nothing has changed. The pain in my stomach is still here, the little monster is sound asleep on my bed, and Sammy is still far away.

Eventually I am going to write something happy and not so depressing. Damn myself for emo blogging!

Here are some positive notes:

I have breakfast at Evan’s in about three hours.

I’m going to kick that monster in the head.

Tequila is amazing but only when used in moderation.

I like my Martini’s a little bit Mexican.

And I have am going to have a fanfuckingtastic week. Spring Break is almost here!